Reality

In reading over and over again the thoughts and feelings of others who are raising their grandchildren, it becomes painfully clear how deeply affected we all are. Regardless of how much we love and care for our children, our lives as we knew them are gone. We make the ultimate sacrifice (and I'm calling BS on anyone who doesn't agree that parenting is the ulitmate sacrifice). All the joy and happiness that accompanies raising a child is overshadowed with feelings of uncertainty and sometimes guilt. Our relationships change, our time with other family members is lessoned, our energy is zapped, our birth children have varying degrees of thoughts and feelings about what has happened, and the list goes on and on. What doesn't often come to the forefront (because it is ugly) is the anger that we sometimes feel towards those who didn't step up for their kids. They can now kick up their heels, live a foot loose and fancy free existence, while we deal with all that comes with parenting (every single day). Do we regret the choice we made, most days not. Most days we couldn't imagine our life without this little person we are raising, but some days, well, let's just say that some days are tough.... Mostly, those of us joining this league, are doing so because of someone else's addiction. It's as complicated, as well as simple, as that. What the addict doesn't realize, is that their addiction will forever change the life of their child, as well as that of whoever it is that is raising said child. Now, the child has to answer unending questions from their peers. "Is that your mom"? "Is that your Gramma"? " Where is your real mom? Do you ever see her? Why not? What does adoption mean? Why don't you live with your mom? Why didn't your mom want you?" These are all questions we have heard many many times, and sometimes they are questions that the child just doesn't want to answer. Since just writing this is causing a flood of emotion that I don't want to deal with right now, I am going to close. God bless us, each and every one...